...Headlines You Might Read 50 years from now...
reader submissions published by The Washington Post

Fourth Runner-up:
Florida to be Readmitted to The Union
(Chris Shreves, Oak Hill, Virginia)

Third Runner-up:
Plague of Spotted Owls Threatens Crops, Livestock
(Stephen Dudzik, Silver Spring, Maryland)

Second Runner-up:
Texas Executes Last Remaining Citizen
(Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington, Virginia)

First Runner-up:
Great and Benevolent Galactic Ruler Reveals Anal Probes Were "Just for Fun"
(Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, Virginia)

And the (Washington Post's) winner of the Hershey's Kiss Hat:
Mother Lewinsky Dies Revered Hero of Bangkok Slums; Overcame Lurid Past
(Tom Witte, Gaithersburg, Maryland)

Honorable Mentions:

Wealthy Widow Anna Nicole Smith, 83, Weds Handsome Young Actor. "This is true love," he beams.
(Tom Witte, Gaithersburg, Maryland; Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, New York; James & Erika Pierce, Charlottesville, Virginia)

Mall Construction Begins on Grenada Memorial
(John McCambridge, Rockville, Maryland)

Court Clears AOLTimeWarnerGEDisneyCiscoFordRJRNabiscoExxonMobil of Monopoly Charges
(Joseph Romm, Washington)

The Cloning Revolution--A Retrospective by Mark Twain
(John Fiorini, Reston, Virginia)

Cody, Cassidy Gifford Elude Authorities: Drug-Crazed Crime Spree Continues
(Tom Witte, Gaithersburg, Maryland)

President 'Bonecrusher' Jones to Face Chief Justice 'Wahoo' Ortega in Cage Match
(Tom Witte, Gaithersburg, Maryland)

Tofu Hoax Uncovered; Alleged Foodstuff Taken off Shelves
(Colette Zanin, Greenbelt, Maryland)

Adam Sandler Wins Irving R. Thalberg Award
(Michael Levy, Silver Spring, Maryland)

Pope Phil II Settles Custody Battle with Ex-Wife
(Michael Levy, Silver Spring, Maryland)

Authentic Year 2000 Chad Sells for $9.6 Million at Sotheby's
(Jennifer Hart, Arlington, Virginia)

Nursing Home Scandal: Clinton Denies Candy Striper's Allegations
(William Barratt, Falls Church, Virginia; Meg Sullivan, Potomac, Virginia)

Racing Legend Carroll Shelby, 128 Years Old, Files Suit Against Last Surviving Loyal Fan
(Meriwether Thompson, Reston, Virginia)

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