...Headlines
You Might Read 50 years from now...
reader
submissions published by The Washington Post
Fourth
Runner-up:
Florida
to be Readmitted to The Union
(Chris
Shreves, Oak Hill, Virginia)
Third
Runner-up:
Plague
of Spotted Owls Threatens Crops, Livestock
(Stephen
Dudzik, Silver Spring, Maryland)
Second
Runner-up:
Texas
Executes Last Remaining Citizen
(Malcolm
Fleschner, Arlington, Virginia)
First
Runner-up:
Great
and Benevolent Galactic Ruler Reveals Anal Probes Were "Just
for
Fun"
(Chuck
Smith, Woodbridge, Virginia)
And
the (Washington Post's) winner
of the Hershey's Kiss Hat:
Mother
Lewinsky Dies Revered Hero of Bangkok Slums; Overcame Lurid Past
(Tom
Witte, Gaithersburg, Maryland)
Honorable
Mentions:
Wealthy
Widow Anna Nicole Smith, 83, Weds Handsome Young Actor. "This
is true love," he beams.
(Tom
Witte, Gaithersburg, Maryland; Judith E. Cottrill, Bronx, New
York; James & Erika Pierce, Charlottesville, Virginia)
Mall
Construction Begins on Grenada Memorial
(John
McCambridge, Rockville, Maryland)
Court
Clears AOLTimeWarnerGEDisneyCiscoFordRJRNabiscoExxonMobil of
Monopoly Charges
(Joseph
Romm, Washington)
The
Cloning Revolution--A Retrospective by Mark Twain
(John
Fiorini, Reston, Virginia)
Cody,
Cassidy Gifford Elude Authorities: Drug-Crazed Crime Spree Continues
(Tom
Witte, Gaithersburg, Maryland)
President
'Bonecrusher' Jones to Face Chief Justice 'Wahoo' Ortega in Cage
Match
(Tom
Witte, Gaithersburg, Maryland)
Tofu
Hoax Uncovered; Alleged Foodstuff Taken off Shelves
(Colette
Zanin, Greenbelt, Maryland)
Adam
Sandler Wins Irving R. Thalberg Award
(Michael
Levy, Silver Spring, Maryland)
Pope
Phil II Settles Custody Battle with Ex-Wife
(Michael
Levy, Silver Spring, Maryland)
Authentic
Year 2000 Chad Sells for $9.6 Million at Sotheby's
(Jennifer
Hart, Arlington, Virginia)
Nursing
Home Scandal: Clinton Denies Candy Striper's Allegations
(William
Barratt, Falls Church, Virginia; Meg Sullivan, Potomac, Virginia)
Racing
Legend Carroll Shelby, 128 Years Old, Files Suit Against Last
Surviving Loyal Fan
(Meriwether
Thompson, Reston, Virginia)
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